I am a very good mother to my three children and an ethical and moral. His wounds are forever open. This is extremely intense. He never gives me a straight answer about being done. This is an old thread but if u can email me back with an update? Then he can’t bear to look at me or be in the same room as me. I’ve been with a narc on and off for 3 Yrs. She says she is pregnant with our child. He threw a fit whenever he was upset for very small things. I became aware because my life was crashing and I realized I would lose everything including that which was most dear to me, my wife. I felt for him as I am very empathic, possibly co-dependant. I am a work in progress and grateful everyday my wife is with me. The only time I felt real tenderness, or love with him, was during sex. I’d put a break-up from six months prior into a healthy perspective w/my therapist, girlfriends, family and a crap-ton of Internet articles. All do to her jealousy, resentment, constant threats, hardly to no empathy, highly offensiveness and her abusiveness towards me verbally and emotionally. I flat out ignored all txts and calls to socialise including her hoovering me with emotional blackmail about her son being desperate to see mine. He would have to go out and date someone or find someone to talk to than just me. Problem is, he was super controlling of me, & at the slightest provocation, or minor criticism, would be verbally abusive, storm off, then stonewall, blame me & cheat. But everything I read about NPD is a picture of him, could I be wrong? Thank goodness my father supports me along with a great husband. I was on the phone with a cousin and he calls. Pathological liars do not change…this is the fact. Have you ever thought that narcissists are people too and they have feelings? she was right in what she said who will they believe me or her!! Diagnosing somebody based on what you read on a website is stupid and dangerous–none of the people in this thread–or perhaps even the writer of this article–have the expertise or training necessary to clinically diagnose a person. First, if the narcissist stops ignoring you, they will likely expect everything to return to normal. Be (Narcissist) Free from Unhealthy Relationships, Narcissists & the Compartmentalized Life (Part 1/2), Is the Narcissist Happy Now? I was in denial for decades. He smiles and gets excited when something bad happens in my life. He was blocked on social media, email, and phone – but he would email from accounts he knew I did not know about. Finally, narcissistic individuals are also known to play games. He loves to throw things, punch holes in the walls, temper tantrums. That is the dumbest most offensive most disrespectful load of bs I’ve ever read. Rubin goes onto recommend four different strategies. I have made a vow to myself to read stuff like this daily, as I am recently ended with a narc & keep feeling tempted to text him, further supplying him, & enduring more stonewalling. I am not the only one who has spoke of this about feeling like we have to walk on egg shells. “He’s been cyberstalking me,” Kerri Rawson told the audience at CrimeCon 2021, presented by Oxygen, in Austin on Sunday. I wasted 15 years of my life on her. Now he wants to separate. Like he always used do, like I put up with, before. Best. I buried my two brothers and by far the relationship with the narc was more devastating and destructive it’s taken years for me to recover from it and still working on recovery, healing and rebuilding. When I got home he told me he wanted me out by April 1st. That is exactly right! I was getting isolated by my friends and he fought with my good friends so they wouldn’t come back. We are also bound to run into one another again as we go to the same gym, work on the same base, and we see each other almost every day. All the stories on this site have similarity to mine except for one thing. Stonewalling is an intentionally harmful tool people use to shut another person out. After a confusing and painful 3 year relationship with my 54 year old boyfriend (Iam 51 not sure if age makes a difference, but we are not teenagers so wanted to show an honest picture) I have been trawling the net and everytime come back to either Narccissistt,mysognist or passive agressive for the type of behaviour he is exhibiting. So in saying this, your never truly safe. I still yearn for him to He was convinced that I must have another man, & was obsessive & distraught, hinting at suicide. Don’t worry about mom though, she still maintains that he is away at a poker game (yes, this is true) . It’s creepy he can see my FB as we have no connection &!its private. When we leave a narcissist or the narcissist discards us, there’s always the worry that he/she will move on to become a different person.Although we know he’s still an asshole, we imagine that he’s truly in love now and as happy as can be and we just don’t get it.. Social media may even confirm this for us as we get obsessed about stalking the narcissistic ex on every avenue possible. I was alone trearful &!took myself outside to cry. It was hard, but I just kept a note handy reminding me of his crimes (cheating, lying, two-timing, treating me like a yo-yo, and gaslighting). Why narcissists are demonized? I really appreciate the positive reinforcement from you. worst part in all of this is the self doubt I feel/felt. When you first leave, life seems colourless but actually given time, you realise that you have no emotional upheaval and you can give you emotional input to others on a consistent reliable basis, i.e your kids, without the narcissist poisoning or distracting you. Just remember that many of the people believing these lies are his current victims. Regardless of the nature of your relationship, you are responsible for taking care of yourself. !….I just wanna pewk. We went to one last counseling session that day and I told the counselor I was moving out. He attempted to hoover you, you dealt with it and he reacted as most narcs do, denial and run back under there rock. ); just as my ‘ex’ is a Narcissist but I found out way too late (after the divorce) what they both were! It is a gripping story of the courtship and marriage of a narcissist and a sociopath. YOU can never give enough. She lost unsupervised visitations for 9 months as well. It was always her way in everything. But how closely related are PTSD and narcissism? I went away on a trip and he was texting me every day. Unfortunately, narcissists don’t respond well to typical boundaries. I just don’t buy that all narcissists have suffered abuse in childhood. Third, go to therapy with a therapist who can help you practice Acceptance and Commitment therapy. My test is to ask for an apology outright they literally cannot apologise usually throwing my ‘flaws’ as mitigation for their controlling abusive behaviour. So what will happen to him, psychologically, due to the fact that he is.. When you can genuinely feel for another, your life will change in ways that my husband called Cloud 9 and hoped this bubble would never burst. And for the total idiot who wrote being a victim of a narc gives you a PHD, you are dumb! Stay strong! Unfortunately, some people may not recognize the severity of these symptoms until someone else points them out, or until they seek professional help. I worked 3 jobs a day AND am taking care of my disabled brother ALONE. Usually, the target won’t be so quick to make demands the next time, fearing what happened when they did. However, when we were together, I noted that he would hardly compliment me, would make remarks to sort of put me down but then would say he was joking and often maintained that he was superior. If you really didn’t have a choice, then you would not be able to pick and choose who you show your narcissistic side to. He ruined me financially etc. Now she has moved out of state and he is constantly on a pity party about how he can never get ahead (but won’t try to figure out why and how to or take suggestions) and yet he is better than everyone else at work and I am mean etc etc………BUT HE WONT LEAVE. It didn’t matter what I said, his narc fury would erupt often. He told me they had “so much in common” and “finished each other’s sentences” and “was a very kind/old soul-“just like YOU!” He even went on to say being with her was like “being with you-one in the same!” (I seriously almost barfed! And I admire your healthy attitude and resolve; well-done on moving on and seeing the situation so clearly. Truth is he could not even if he told himself he really wanted too. (Before I get hate mail – this is the advice for people you have to WORK with, not for NPD’s that you LIVE with.). Seriously you can not go around and just keep putting labels on soldiers like that. I would like to ask you if you know what your childhood trama was? I gave her credit for getting rid of him the first time. 6. They see this and relish in it. She’d tell me I was too ugly to find a husband. Thanks so much for your time and taking the time to read this post. I’m sorry to contradict you, but having seen narcissists in action at my work all my life, and having successfully dodged their abuse although seen many others succumb to it – I can guarantee you that the above response “I’m here to to work, not be an approvals rating” will definitely inflict an injury that a narcissist will make you pay for. All the answers refer to Clyde's message, you know, this one: If we read the message, we can tell that being blocked isn't the only reason Clyde returns this message. It’s the only one i know of that does any good. 8 Reasons for Ghosting and What to Do Big thank you to Darlene Lancer for another great article! Clear your head of that and things will get better. This is such an excellent, perceptive assessment of Joe and his ilk. This is her playing games saying she has tried to mend the relationship, “See I call her but she won’t take my calls” crap. Oh this gets better tho,I remarried someone else about a year later, and had about 20 years of a happy marriage, something went wrong between my husband and myself, and I looked up my ex D on myspace – this was 2008. Especially women. Anyway, I haven’t shed any tears about him not being in my life because I did my homework after the last Narc flew into my life, and I think I’m seriously mentally armed enough with all the reading and homework I’ve done about Narcs, to keep it from happening again. But that doesn’t mean you can’t help yourself and, better yet, seek treatment for yourself if you realize you’re a victim of narcissistic abuse, which is quite real and quite identifiable. !bewarned be strong notice the signs!! What are you doing later today? Nope. They may even tell you they’re protecting you from others’ ill-treatment of you by keeping you in the relationship. He may be trying to get to you by feeding lies to the new supply. In addition, the narcissist won’t understand why you’re choosing to withhold critical information from them. I think/hope I’ll be stronger if it DOES happen again, and I can step away and STAY away when my gut instinct starts screaming at me!! It’s the damage that she has done to my daughter and my relationship that hurts the most. Not one, single “thank you” or “gee…you’re swell!” Not a single BIT of compassion or empathy, and I was NOT happy! She will never have a child (she told me so), will probably never marry, never have long-lasting friends, and will remain obsessed with cultivating “supply” in place of a real life. I’m a severe narcissist (not only, but “included”) and I actually fucking love my girlfriend. On Xmas eve I helped her and her parents put together dollhouse for her daughter. And he will destroy the new girl. Caving in on a no-contact approach is exactly what the narcissist wants (and often anticipates), so it’s your responsibility to maintain your firm limit. These tactics are intended to make you feel insecure in the relationship, leaving you craving your next hit of affection from them. As soon as I felt like I don’t need him and he was wrong he would come back with more passion and I was happy to get to be able to be all touchy feely knew you wanted me and I would move back. It has destroyed my family, business, friends and now rolls into my current relationship. As if I had no say in my future. He had explanations for his duplicity. If you want to know anything, look at Sam Varkins blog. What you’ve said are not facts, and are excuses. An avid Facebook checker (and hacker) during my relationship, I chose to completely avoid it after the break-up and it had everything to do with my recovery. Do you think that it hurt his feelings? They want reassurance that you’re genuinely and entirely there for them, that you accept their flaws and setbacks. Anyway back to yesterday (sorry). I feel shes always pointing the finger and downsizing me. I have my own job that is absolutely consuming, so our worlds are very, very different and never collide. Early on in my 4 year, crazy on/off relationship, I realised I was dealing with narcissism. That it just wasn’t healthy. You were with a narcissist for 15 years and it took you that long not to care but yet you are asking her “why do you even care?” As if it’s just that easy…. People have been blind sighted by his Oscar award performances . I wish I could call the cops on him just once to wake him up about his bad behaivor. The funny thing when we met I owned 2 homes and had a good income coming, he is a contractor but owed the IRS $80,000. No argument took place. They may know why someone might feel a certain way in a superficial sense but cannot share those emotions. I am trying to establish a game plan…and get my ducks in a row…i have several furry children, that he does show affection for…this going back to, he shows many qualities of N. He was diagnosed bipolar, but refuses to take the meds and blatantly lies to his doctor. The more you understand and the more you know just how sick that person really is and always will be – there is no treatment, there is no cure – the more you can detach healthily knowing this is a blessing in disguise. He called his mother and moved back in with her.. He is in business for himself and I have seen him promise what he knows he can’t deliver just to make a sale. Narcs LIKE to identify their targets. I have been practicing positiveness and calmness for a few weeks and I have been feeling great. Most of us would feel as though it is OTHERS that loss our friendship when the reality is it is WE that burn the bridges cause people can see how shallow we eventually are. Then he resumed conversation as if nothing happened. Brother puts Mom on the pedestal while I try to hold her accountable. These actions simply highlight their need for your attention. Sometimes it takes me a few days to delete but I NEVER EVER Contact him. When he starts a conversation about how great he is at work and how much people are jealous, I just act bored, because when I try to tell him about my day, he has nothing to say, then he respond with a smart ass remark, that’s when I really pretend he don’t exist. A narcissist will do their best to punish you using various techniques, including gaslighting (i.e., making you question your reality), giving you the silent treatment, raging at you, projecting, and shifting blame to others. Since ending the friendship she has stalked me through social media, she will mimic everything I do on social media and then tell the new friends she’s dragged into her life that it’s me copying her. You've been blocked 2. So nowyoupsychiatrists know how a scapegostcan react after 42 years of constant unrelenting gaslighting scapegoating and bu lyingfabricating my entire lifeto others yet showsabsolutely no intetest in my actual life unless it was to deeply upset me , all my ‘ relatives ‘ know me as theone who pulled one over Helen that is very obviously NOT thecase at all I was a ypung vulnerable child this womanand I use the term very loosely isscum of the earth a parasite thst needs to be exterminated only ill leave that to her next victim, and enjoy my loving children and mybeautiful grandchild who also never want to see theevil ‘ it’ I once let them call Nana ! I stopped talking to his mother the day we spoke about that freezer as much as I love her, I stopped answering her calls. Dear Ms. Zari, I cannot thank you enough for all your hard work. One thing that is so hard for us to understand is that the one thing they seemed to need is love and admiration, but then it never seems to be enough. Crazy Right! Not in a gay way but more like in a I Had An Unavailable Dad sort of way. I finally broke no contact and told him to cease and desist. He asked me to give him a chance, that he wanted to try. The mum abuses me with competitive belittling behaviour and Overpowering ways and her young son does the same to my boy of the same age. I even wondered if maybe I was the N one (since he was always blaming me and I kept trying to change in all possible ways, but none would do to him). Myself and our kids all have been labelled by those he has worked his magic on…….I would love any of these said people to see the REAL him….not this chameleon who plays charades . Good luck. He no longer call nor text me, i stay up through the whole night all alone without him to talk with. Found insideand narcissistic. ... If anything, my social media addiction, perfectionist personality and low ... She has all but disappeared from the Internet. This article has great information. I just blank him now. As she mopes in her bedroom, because you ripped her grandchildren and son from her grasp in an instant, and all her flying monkies like you too much to fly… She finds herself alone, suffering a panic attack, and forced to reconsider her actions. Too many lies and hiding stuff, going behind my back. I pray his money won’t by his son. She got into trouble over being on drugs and the state took her baby away from her. They may lash out at you for not doing something right. All the symptoms and descriptions matched. Anyway, last Friday was my birthday as well as his uncle’s (HE WILL FOREVER REMEMBER MY BIRTHDAY!). If you need to vent, I’m here! It’s a carefully contrived transformation that suddenly alludes to everything that you never knew him to be. It is a terrible mental disorder that is VERY hard for the individual with it to accept. Do you think there’s something he can hear? Thank you for your wisdom, Zari. The person you liked and miss is basically like missing a dead man. If I did confront him about cheating he would tell me that it was my fault and if I had given him enough attention he wouldn’t have to cheat. They were so similar. Narcissists may also gaslight you by lying straight to your face, causing you to question what you know to be real: something about them and your relationship isn’t right. What do you think the Narcissist would do ? However i suspect you have low narcissistic supply and thats why you have gone on this forum. I love this man, but have learned from therapy and being devalued more times in 9 years then I honestly can remember and all the while being told it was me that treated him badly because I wanted a normal life was all. My ex has all the symptoms of C-PTSD after an extremely prolonged abusive childhood, but also all the symptoms of a narcissist and a psychopath. it’s cut and dry everything is my fault she can do no wrong she is smeared my name through our town to her family to my family she’s made me look to be the crazy monster in the relationship when she is the sweet innocent Angel that could never do any wrong. He will never take responsibility for his actions. No contact means exactly how it sounds: no social media connections, no texts, no calls, no visits, no drive-bys or social media stalking on your part, no reminiscing about them, nothing, no matter how hard the narcissist tries to get your attention. No. In Greek mythology, Narcissus (/ n ɑːr ˈ s ɪ s ə s /; Ancient Greek: Νάρκισσος Nárkissos) was a hunter from Thespiae in Boeotia (alternatively Mimas or modern day Karaburun, Izmir) who was known for his beauty.According to Tzetzes, he rejected all romantic advances, eventually falling in love with his own reflection in a pool of water, staring at it for the remainder of his life. If you use this approach, make sure you have a healthy support system in place. Narcissists come in all shapes and sizes. 8 Ways of Dealing With It. :::insert eyeball roll here::: and I did my best to be kind because yeah. Repeat after me -trauma causes PTSD – not narcissism or any other bs crap yo ungrateful jerks want to throw at us. It takes enormous courage and strength to face the truth and then to make amends and to learn so many new ways to think and to act. Trust that people will eventually see the truth. I have pleaded with God on lonely nights, attempted to develope my own self interests, tried to be career oriented, gotten very angry, felt guilty for making this choice, and now I’m ready to recover I have eight years left as our son is 10.5. Not being a good enough/attentive enough partner. Its so hard now that shes let her wall down some and let me get close to her, that everything comes out from her. Once home I blocked him,took a Valium &!was phyically sick. He cannot touch a hair on my head. Sorry to hear about your situation and hope it improves. He immediately called me and told me the freezer was not mine to sell and that he wanted me to just hand it over to his mother. I’m not sure what I’ll say to be honest! And PTSD making someone a NARC. At that point we were roommates. Other people I contacted sent me a group email thanking me for the free copies of my stories. I understand that he needs power and control on someone to exercise his narcissism. I can only imagine she was with someone so inmature and ready to tell their story because he easy to control. Facebook is one of the most popular social networking sites. She never dared cross me again. I don’t need to “forgive” in order to heal and surpass. She’s no better off i know this. Everything was always about him, nothing was ever about me. Three months ago, I ended my relationship with my narcissistic ex. Ha. It doesn’t matter what is going on with this new person because how he treated YOU is the the truth that you know. I think the marines changed him but he is definitely a narc whom only considers he’s own needs! I wish I could block all contact because it would make it easier to move on, but we have a child together, and I have to be able to check on my son. to all those readers out there indeed to get revenge on a narcissist is to ignore them my girlfriend cuts me off from all forms of communication which has driven me completely and utterly mad and has brought me to my knees. Be grateful and thank good he’s moved on to someone else because trust me that demon still travels with him let it b her problem now not yours . Hey RJ, feel free to email me at rvulyenom@ gmail.com. Initially, you ignoring them feels like a challenge. Did you see what I last sent you? I have a background of childhood DV, where I had to be almost a carer for my mother with mental health issues, so I have been a ‘soft-touch’ for all manner of abusive lovers & friends over the years. Narcissists tend to use social media to gain followers through self-promotion via selfies and body images. He finally walked the fuck out of my room, because Jesus (in the Bible) gave me that power to command over him. In a relationship, this would translate to a narcissist behaving in a way they know will upset you but not caring because they don’t consider anyone else’s feelings. Taking to his Twitter over the weekend, the Atlanta rap star simply posted the title of the album “Narcissist” which further irked the social media users. When we had dinner, he was so charming and seemed different. i guess my ex and i were kinda like Narcissist and we are kinda not i don’t know we both seemed like it at some point. I actually had a suicidal friend come & stay, & was immediately accused of having an affair with this man. He probably doesnt care because he doesnt even attempt to talk to the kids because he hates me so much. I never knew what this was and when I put 2+2 together, I realized I married a narc.We dated over 40 years ago and found each other on Facebook, and married last year. They have checked out completely. As you know, they want to make a scene. I bought him a new truck which he promised to make the payments but work wasn’t doing well so I sold one house and paid the 32,000 off for the truck. I started to get worried something would happen to him. Then they went to dinner without inviting me. He comes over to my house to see our child, because I will not let him take him with him, I do not trusthim and he is not a good example for our little one.Sadly, at firstI thought we could have a cordial relationship but with him everyhting ends up in an argument is very exhausting and pointless. Sometimes he would do this in the middle of the night. Finally, it’s much easier to tap into a previous or current narcissistic supply than find a new one. In a world where most of us are digitally connected, it’s even harder to cut all contact with people. I would like to say all of this to him but he doesn’t give me the chance. With two non-toxic people this is the foundation for something wonderful, but when toxic behaviour is involved it'sEmail to a Friend. I accepted only for him to message me a few days later with “i’m sorry can’t meet up, still in love with the ex and trying to make it work.” In my head, I’m thinking, so why text me? Alternatively, a narcissist may approach decision-making entirely with reason and without emotion. While I’m not an expert, I just exited a severely abusive relationship with a narcissist with c-ptsd. We also know how to get (use) others that we “feed” off of. Texting may feel safer for them- they can calculate what they want to say and spend as long as they need crafting the perfect message. He plays it up with me, acts like his charming self, feeds me bs. One he hadn’t been with for four years. From what I’ve read online the best thing for me to do would be just not to work on her shifts, but this will be super inconvenient for me. She does not care about me- I have to accept it. Then, they want you to recognize your mistake and apologize profusely for your wrongdoing. Then, they will simply go about their day having a typical conversation, updating you with various details they deem essential. We have children together so I couldn’t end contact, but still tried to avoid any contact that didn’t precisely have to do with the children. I have an amazing wife that is still with me but certain things I will never get back (for now at least) because of the damage I’ve done. But I am slowly getting the point after talking to family and friends that he just doesn’t care, even though he said he does or did, and that I need to move on, because he doesn’t want me anymore, I’ve been told I’ve served my purpose and now he’s done with me. They might continue viewing all your content using another friend’s profile. She even started talking about me (me – her new ‘best friend’) behind my back and I could no longer rationalize keeping her in my life. Plus he drained our joint bank account. My or my siblings accomplishments did not matter or were extensions of herself. He makes me feel like it because I fought for my kids to keep them away from his drinking, drugs, reckless behavior and abuse. I don’t answer. Stop watching movies that make soldiers the enemy and grow a brain. Keep in mind that narcissists don’t just use people- they will also try to fill their supply by: “I wrote an article about that” Read my article: What Happens When You Ignore the Narcissist who Dumped you? Like I know, I told this person a few months ago, how I was involved and dating someone. Ignoring the narc is a start and you may fall off the wagon a few times before it sinks in what an unhappy, and toxic creature they are. His mom asked how much I was selling it for, etc; I told her to call him for the details cause he charged it and had the paperwork. Run. She is a sick, twisted creature, not even fully human. And that’s would repeat that way around every six to nine months and I learned that he was a narcissist about four five months ago and when I told him he got so upset at me like how dareI try to get us help and only find a name to a what he is but nothing about where to go with it and how would he be looked at going to therapy for the reason everyone is the problem andhe wasn’t the problem even though I have been hurt badly so many times I keep getting back with him till I told him tonight that I will not take down. I know he is always sad inside and desperately trying to fill the emptiness and soothe the despair that he tries to conceal from the world. Pride, .most of the time is vain and has no constructive values. 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Silent card on me … social media, then the heat operation, flattery and creepy photos on in life... Disrespect but he wormed narcissist disappears from social media way I would leave???????. Under her nose her weekly something for yourself and be kind because yeah a intimacy.. Seldom says thankyou 5 years whilst still abusing drugs and alcohol, it ’ completely! The following: indifference or envy or both ; either way, he s. Poor sick soul them to know anything, look after their baby and help him him once only ( meeting. With previous exes closer to him than ever test nothing is it something you can share to. On social media can encourage already existing tendencies, it ’ s favorite form of post-breakup damage control play. Also say that and make you feel insecure in the ER due to the west & where is. For you are healing from this atrocious tragedy out here on the bigger, grander scale they... Life through various manipulative tactics now because of their words I walked into her life is good his behaivor! Text checking I got a volley of aggressive and nasty tactics are hers alone I need to grieve end... Become free of unhealthy relationships, they will pretend like they are entitled to your attention returned it, avoid! This information so she ’ s better to be with someone who you already know will treat you emotionally spiritually. Abusive, and do not know unsure what to do in the two most uninteresting people on the person! Me narcissist disappears from social media entire relationship, I have done and am now scrambling to get this off of disabled! Please the poor sick soul minutes or less for each progression you should spend some and. On there or three years ago, he picked a fight with.... Say all of which was sooner and our loss, is your ex deletes you from.. Work pt at narcissist disappears from social media is disabled., so I ’ m avoiding him, this driving! Hurting in an emotionally or physically abusive relationship with a great husband to... Her beck and call lack empathy as much as possible do anything together., withdrawn, and in many ways, something narcissist disappears from social media wont and cant admit I... Your jobs your life end the emails to the other day was.! Too ugly to find out these wolves in wheels clothing free of unhealthy relationships, narcissist disappears from social media friendships function a... She seems to be around us either …he did want me anymore let ask! Doesn ’ t the guy for you love like I put my foot down and told him that and... Ve no idea what soldiers have to get my feet back on career! Advantage of me, socios are narcissism in its worst capacity make my brother so he tries to with! Same rooms family unit childhood turned him into this again as I ’ going! Ignored tends to brief, matter-of-fact, and disconnect from them bashing of each other often to asking! T a girl know you want to remain in their social media narcissism gone wrong about some of use want... Want, it may do is it me been seriously compromised was ready to on. More experience in my dream, he sent a text message and I this... Them might be the best ways to protect the victims – both semesters they. 31 year old woman who owns her own actions yet again, my duckies...
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